


Let Me Save You

by shinodasmile



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning: involves chester and suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:58:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinodasmile/pseuds/shinodasmile
Summary: In which Mike saves Chester's life and just then notices he's in love with his friend.





	Let Me Save You

**Author's Note:**

> *trigger warning* guys, this one shot involves Chester and suicide, so please, if you don't think you can handle it or if you're gonna get offended, please, don't read it. I could never forgive myself if any of you felt bad because of my stories.
> 
> I know this is a very delicate matter and that's why I always avoid putting these two things together (even when it doesn't have to do with what happened) but today I needed to put my feelings out and I decided on writing this.
> 
> And I recommend you read it while listening to 'Breaking the Habit' because I had this idea while listening to it and it's better I guess.

He had, in fact, noticed that his dearest friend was not acting like himself these past two months. He thought about asking what was wrong but something always stopped him. However, it never crossed his mind that it'd come to this point. This extreme point. Until he found that note.

A simple note where it wrote words that were able to shatter him from the inside out. A knot formed in his throat as he felt the air leaving his lungs, he tried to scream but his voice didn't come out. He read it three times and still could not possibly believe that this was happening to him.

'I'm sorry but I can't anymore. I'm sorry to hurt you and to worry you, but this will be for the better. Goodbye, Mike.'

He read a fifth time and still couldn't assimilate. Where could he be? Could Mike save him or would it be too late? His jaw was trembling and tears spilled from his Japanese shaped eyes. He gripped the paper tighter, making it knead on the sides as he screamed, this time his voice full of pain and frustration, raw, tearing the insides of his throat as he felt his own heart sink at the thought of the loss of his dearest friend. How could he let him get to this point?

He tossed the paper on the desk where he found it when he had looked for his friend, yelling his name, until he decided to enter his room and that's when he found the heartbreaking note.

Looking around, completely lost, he tried to focus on where Chester could have gone, how would he do it? His blurred vision wasn't helping but he couldn't give up, he got out of his apartment and rushed to the streets, feeling the chilly air hitting against his face, which immediately reddened.

He rubbed his fists aggressively against his own eyes, his head aching and spinning as he looked up to the tall buildings. He stood in the middle of the street and screamed again, asking to whoever could answer, why had he been so blind?

People stared at him as he fell on his knees. Hopeless and helpless, muffled sounds of people shouting at him, warning him that there was a car coming at full speed, but he couldn't hear. He couldn't.

He felt his body flying to the other side of the road as someone had pushed him. He felt the air leaving his lungs as his back hit harshly the concrete. He opened and closed his eyes, trying to focus on who had saved him. He looked to the side and saw a silhouette running away through a crowd of people that had formed around him, asking if he was okay. He felt something on his chest as he saw that silhouette running, he gasped and felt adrenaline rush through him as he got up incredibly fast and tried to chase his savior, but he fell before he could take the first steps, hurting his knees and tearing the fabric of his jeans, blood dripping from the fresh, little wounds. He got up again and steadied himself before rushing to the direction the silhouette had gone.

He insisted in following that silhouette because he felt it in his soul that it was Chester. That slim form, that stature and that posture. He sworn he had seen the recently bleached curls and he had felt those delicate and yet strong hands. He knew that touch all too well from the times they had hugged, the times Chester had comforted him and caressed him.

He kept looking for that person and started to wonder if he was indeed Chester. What if he had been mistaken and Chester was now dead somewhere. The thought of finding his friend lifeless body made him sick, he felt like throwing up and his breathing picked up.

The emcee started to run with all his might to get to Chester, but he felt so helpless, he had no idea where his friend could be and each second that passed he felt more desperate. He wondered what was the source of this desperation. Of course he'd be desperate if his best friend would die like this, but this desperation was different. He didn't want to lose Chester nor think about it and just the thought of a life without him made him so sick, but he also knew deep down that he needed to tell the vocalist something very important. Something that he did not want to admit to himself but thinking about the chance he could have lost if it was too late made him even sicker.

He loved his best friend, of course he did, he had said it a million times before but now, saying those words seemed so sacred. When had those words became so forbidden to say out loud? Inside of his heart there was a different despair, a despair of regret, of lost chances. He knew what he had to do and he knew what he felt towards his friend, but he just felt so stupid for only noticing now that everything could be lost. His head was spinning with a millions thoughts per second and he couldn't get a hold of any of them.

He looked up again after a long time of just walking around the city and shook as more tears fell down his cheeks, water dripping into the floor as he just let it flow. Opening his eyes he spotted something that called his attention. A scrawny figure on top of a building. Chester.

At the moment he saw that, he definitely knew it was his beloved friend, he opened his mouth but no sound came, his heart was thumping so roughly against his chest that he couldn't breathe. He was so scared, but relieved at the same time for knowing that at least Chester was not dead and that he could still save him and tell him everything he wanted to. Tell him he could not possibly bear the idea of losing him.

He just pulled himself together and entered the building, hoping he could get up the roof in time, hoping that it wouldn't be too late.

For his misfortune, the elevator was broken so he had to go up the staircase, running, stumbling, falling, he managed to get to the last floor and finally to the rooftop. Hitting on the rusty door, that was stuck, his adrenaline was rising and he felt like fainting any minute, what if he couldn't save him?

He managed to open the door and fell to the ground as soon as he stepped outside, he got up taking off the dust from his clothes, looking around, trying to find his friend.

He spotted him, finally. With clenched teeth he started to go towards him, tears falling nonstop, a sob escaped his lips and he started to cough.

Chester had his arms stretched to the sides, feeling the violent wind that blew against his clothes and hair. His long sleeved shirt and his pants swinging back along with the cold gale, his hair ever so messy, even messier. With eyes closed and taking deep breaths he just decided to feel something against his skin for one last time, to inhale the air for one last time. He felt adrenaline and excitement coursing through his veins as he looked down to the street putting one foot to the edge, his bare toes already out of the parapet, a tickling sensation overcoming his feet as he started to go further.

Mike was watching everything, thinking of how he would convince him to stay. He was running out of time, he was growing more desperate and he only had one chance to save him. Only one. It broke his heart to see how calm and peaceful his best friend looked in that situation. It seemed like he had finally found his peace.

That was it, he was going to jump if Mike didn't intervene now. He rushed as silently as possible to the parapet and hugged the other man's lower half, his head pressing against his back and arms wrapped around his him legs. Chester gasped and shook as the calm left his body. He didn't accomplish what he had wanted for so long and now everything was lost. Who was this person holding him, why couldn't they just let him be?!

"Stop! Let me go! I wanna die, let me go!" He shouted from the top of his lungs and felt his throat tear with the intensity of his raw screams.

"I can't." Mike yelled back, crying harder at hearing those words coming out of his so loved friend.

"Let me go... please." Chester hadn't recognized who was his 'savior'. His voice was now small and fragile, full of hurt and sorrow, a voice that seemed so different from the vocalist's personality.

"I can't." Mike said again, pulling his friend back to safe ground, not once letting him go. Both now shaking while Mike had his head leaning against the other's neck and Chester was looking down, letting frustrated, stubborn tears fall to the concrete. He felt a kiss being planted on his nape and shuddered, widening his eyes and trying to get out of the other man's grip.

He freed himself and immediately looked to the man. His jaw trembled and his eyes widened even more when he saw Mike. He hadn't expected Mike to arrive home and find his note this early and much less for him to find the building he'd planned to jump off from.

"W-why are you here?" He stepped back, looking at Mike, who was injured and crying uncontrollably.

"I'm here because I care." He took a step forward. "Please don't do that." His voice broke halfway trough and he threw his arms around an emotionless Chester, who didn't respond the hug, he just stared into nothingness, feeling an abyss of emptiness overcoming his entire being.

"You care?" Chester replied smiling at the nothing, tears still falling as Mike had started to kiss the crook of his neck repeatedly as if he stopped, Chester would vanish. Mike was still in disbelief and pure shock that he had found his friend in time.

"Of course I care. You are the most important person of my life. I care more about you than I care about myself. A life without you is meaningless and empty. Please stay. I l-love you. I love you so much. Please let me help you." He begged, his head buried into Chester. "I may sound selfish but I can't bear a life without you. Without your touches, your hugs, your voice, your jokes. Everything about you is fundamental for my living. You don't understand, without you, there is no me, Chester. Please. I love you." Mike said, now holding the vocalist's face with both hands, intently staring at those big brown eyes.

"D-do you mean it?" Chester asked heart-brokenly. He had never heard such words being directed at him. In his head, he was just a burden, his existence didn't matter at all.

"Of course I do. I love you. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I didn't know how to do it. I was a coward, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for not helping you before, for letting it get to this point." He shook and put his forehead to Chester's.

"I... god, I love you. I've loved you for a long time, Mike. But I'm so deep into sorrow that I don't think I can ever crawl out of this. I'm so sorry. I'm not strong." Chester said, finally admitting the feelings that were stuck inside of him for so long. The feelings he had to swallow and buckle up for the sake of their friendship and the good of Mike, because he surely did not deserve someone like Chester. He deserved better.

"Stay with me. Please stay." Mike suddenly said though tears and leaned in with no previous advice, capturing Chester's lips softly, tasting their tears as they melted together and Chester responded the kiss with tenderness. "I know you saved me earlier, let me save you now." He said after they broke the kiss.

Chester just smiled weakly and kissed Mike again, letting his love overflow. Maybe he could try for Mike, maybe now that he had someone to fight for he could be strong.

"I will, but I can't promise I'll get better." Mike just hugged Chester, holding his head to his chest.

"It will get better. Trust me." The wind blew away at their worries as they found peace in each other's arms.


End file.
